Connection is Key to Improving BehaviorFeb 17, 2022
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Connection is THE key to improving your child’s behavior. So, in today’s episode we are talking about the CONNECT step of the Calm Mama Process.
Note: This is the 2nd step in the Process. If you missed last week’s episode on getting to CALM, go back to listen now.
If you’ve ever wanted to help your kids manage their emotions by “using their words” then you will love this episode.
I’m teaching you how to teach your kids to ‘use their words’ by giving them the words they need to express their big feelings.
If you take nothing else away from this episode, I want you to hear this:
Feelings drive behavior.
All behavior is a result of thoughts and feelings, including your children's misbehavior.
Whatever your child is doing, they're behaving that way because of how they're feeling about their circumstances.
Not because they are bad.
Kids misbehave when they aren't feeling great.
When kids don't know what to do with their feelings, they show up in ways that don't work (hitting, shouting, complaining, whining, name-calling, refusal, ignoring, etc).
So, If you want to change misbehavior, you need to help your child understand what they are feeling and help them learn how to express those feelings in ways that work.
As the parent, you are responsible for developing your child’s social and emotional skills, just as much as you are responsible for developing their cognitive skills.
In fact, I think the greater responsibility of parents is to develop the social and emotional skills, because the greater those skills the more likely your child will have future success.
Parenting through connection is revolutionary. It’s NOT doing it “the way it’s always been done”.
When you get the side-eye from your mother in law, or your dad makes that “we never let you kids talk like that” comment, just remember you’re practicing the “feelings first” model. Remind yourself that you’re part of a new generation of parents. You are part of a revolution!
- Why the “behavior first” model of parenting we were raised with doesn’t address the root of the problem
- What a “feelings first” model looks like
- Why curiosity is such a powerful parenting tool
- How “feelings first” is not the same as “feelings only”
Connect with Me:
- Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress or Facebook @calmmamacoaching
- Join Calm Mama School
- Book a call
Doing something new and revolutionary is a lot easier with a guide. If you want help feeling more confident in your parenting skills, join Calm Mama School TODAY.
My parent coaching program is a step-by-step process, where you master the “feelings first” approach by mastering the Calm Mama Process: Calm, Connect, Limit Set, Correct.