When Your Child is Aggressive: The “Hard No”

Apr 20, 2022

Follow the show

Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Everywhere else

When your child is being aggressive, it can be hard to know what to do.  

In this episode of the Become A Calm Mama podcast, I’m teaching you how to keep your family safe when your kid is hitting, breaking things or calling names.

A foundational principle I teach is this: EVERYONE STAYS SAFE in your house. 

That means the bodies and hearts of the people in your house don’t get hurt. By you. By their siblings. It also means YOU don’t get hurt either.


What to do if your kid is hitting

I'm often asked "What do I do if my kids are physically hurting each other??"

Kids hurting other kids (or you) is a behavior that can feel really overwhelming. And it can trigger a lot of stress for you. 

The "hard no" is the perfect strategy for those kinds of tricky parenting moments.

It is a firm communication that your child’s feeling is ok but hurting others isn’t.

If your kid is hitting another kid or won’t stop hitting you, the “hard no” is how you stop them.  I’ll walk you through what to say and do in the moment, including what to do if they don’t stop right away.


If your kid is name calling

Words can hurt, too.  So, the “hard no” is also perfect for times when your child is insulting or threatening others (including you). 

Name calling is a strategy they are using to communicate and cope with their feelings. 

But if they are using hurtful or violent language or cursing, you will want to do a “hard no.”

A “hard no” doesn’t need to be harsh.  You don’t have to be angry or activated to do a “hard no”.  

Instead, put your focus on keeping everyone safe and calming yourself.  Then, you can try to help your kid regulate their emotions and find safer ways to cope.

Listen to the full episode now for real-life examples and scripts you can use with your own kids.


You’ll Learn:

  • How to use the “hard no” - and exactly what you can say in some common situations
  • What parents usually do instead (and why it doesn’t work)
  • What your kid really needs from you in these moments - it’s not another lecture


Connect with Me:


The Stop Yelling Masterclass is my free course that walks you through a lot of what I’m teaching in this episode.

It’s all the things you need to know in order to change how you show up as a mom so you can stop yelling.

Get the Stop Yelling free course and the workbook right now at www.calmmamacoaching.com

Get the Stop Yelling Cheat Sheet

One simple tool to stop yelling at your kids, so you finally feel calmer and connect better.