The #1 Reason Misbehavior is Hard for ParentsMar 10, 2022
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Today I’m talking about misbehavior and the #1 reason it is so hard for parents.
Misbehavior creates a lot of conflict in families. It’s one of the main reasons parents yell.
You’ve probably thought “If they would just listen and stop acting out, I wouldn’t have to yell!”
And maybe your brain has offered you the solution of getting your kids to behave better by having more rules and more limits and more consequences. By being more strict.
Many parents think the answer to misbehavior is in having better routines, or being more consistent, or being more firm.
The problem with this solution is that it doesn’t address the roots of misbehavior.
In this episode, I’m sharing why it’s so triggering and upsetting for you, and some concrete and practical steps to handling misbehavior without resorting to lecturing, avoiding, yelling, threatening or shaming.
Surprise! It all starts in your brain.
As a parent, your child’s behavior often activates your stress response.
Your brain wants to INTERPRET your kid’s behavior as a DANGER to your physical or emotional safety.
It will TRICK you into thinking that your kid’s behavior is a threat to you.
It will tell you that you need to protect yourself. Get bigger. Get louder. Fight back. Run away.
And that can make it hard to remain calm.
But when you can understand what’s driving the behavior and view it as an opportunity rather than a problem, you can head off the stress response and feel more calm in the situation.
- Why misbehavior often feels like an emergency (even though it’s usually not)
- How to recognize your body’s stress response and be aware of your reactions
- Different ways to think about misbehavior - and prevent your stress response from kicking in
- Simple steps to use limits and rules to effectively manage behavior