Parenting GoalsDec 28, 2022
Follow the Show
It’s the last episode of 2022! And the New Year is a time when many of us think about goals for the coming year. But have you ever set parenting goals?
Learn what parenting goals are and how to use them to pivot behavior and teach your kids new skills and values.
What are parenting goals?
A parenting goal is a goal that you set for your kids based on something that you see as a gap that they need to learn.
There are a LOT of things that kids need to learn between the time they're little all the way until the time that they're grown.
Kids need to have skills like time management, social competency, conflict resolution, personal hygiene, understanding money, how to cook clean, how to pack for a trip and (eventually) how to drive.
You also have values that are important to you as a parent. You might want your child to learn values like kindness, generosity, gratitude, self reliance or work ethic.
It can be overwhelming when you look at all these different areas and see where your kid isn't meeting the standards you envision in the long term.
Rather than judge yourself or your kids for these gaps in knowledge, you can think about where your kid is now in a certain area, where you want them to be and set a goal to help them get there.
And we can’t tackle them all at once. The goal setting process allows you to identify what is most important to you that your child learns now.
How to set your parenting goals
Selecting one or two parenting goals at a time will help you be intentional and strategic.
And the more intentional we are about our children and what they need to learn, the more likely we'll reach each parenting goal.
Step 1: Name your parenting goal
When you look at your child right now, what specific skill or value would you like to help them learn?
Think about where their behavior seems off-track or problematic. Then fill in the blank: If my child had _______ skill/value, they wouldn’t act like this.
Often when I talk about limits, I say that when a behavior is driving you crazy, it’s time for a limit. This is also a great clue to your parenting goals. It probably means your child is missing a skill or hasn't had enough practice with a value that is important to you.
Step 2: Create a plan
What limits do you need to put into place to reach the specific goal that you have in mind?
What will happen if they don’t follow through on their part of the plan or hold your limit?
Step 3: Follow through
We set limits in order to create a container for our kids to pivot a behavior or learn a new skill. And they have to be allowed to fail until they realize they don’t want to mess up anymore.
Remember, when your kid experiences the impact of their behavior, they learn from it and the behavior will change faster. Sometimes, we need to bring those impacts into our family because we can’t always wait for natural consequences to take place.
Doing this isn’t mean. And we can do it without criticizing, lecturing or comparing them to others.
- How to use parenting goals to help your kids learn the skills and values that will serve them (and your whole family) long term
- Which goals you should focus on first
- How to create a goal plan - with super detailed examples
- What to do when the goal you set isn’t having the result you wanted
Connect With Darlynn:
- Book a call with Darlynn
- Sign up for love notes and learn about The Calm Mama Club at www.calmmamacoaching.com
- Follow me on Instagram @darlynnchildress for daily tips
- Rate and review the podcast on Amazon
Inside my new parenting class, Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids, you’ll set and work toward your own parenting goals using my Calm Mama Process.
And when you aren’t sure what goal to set or how to get there, you don’t have to do this work all by yourself.
You can come to a live coaching call or ask your questions in our private Facebook group, and I’ll be there to help you through it.
The next group starts January 5th, 2023, and I’d love to have you join us. You’ll start by picking one or two behaviors that are driving you crazy. Then, we’ll work through the entire Calm Mama Process to pivot that behavior.
If one of your goals is to create a calm and peaceful family, then you really need to sign up for my class and start working with me because this year is the year you can make it happen.
Ready to stop yelling?
Get the one simple tool you need to stop yelling at your kids, so you finally feel calmer and connect better.
You'll learn why you yell, how to stop yourself yelling, 40 things to do instead and scripts for what to say to your kid when you yell.