How to End Summer with Less Stress and More Joy | Parenting Advice

Follow the Show

Apple Podcasts | Spotify | YouTube Podcasts | Everywhere else

August is here, and I bet you're thinking about back-to-school. If you're feeling stressed, worrying that your kids are out of control, and wanting to buckle down and get back into a routine before the first day, this episode is for you. I'm talking about what's worth doing in the final days of summer, what you shouldn't try to do, and why I want you to spend this week savoring the last bits of summer instead of scrambling and feeling stressed.

If your kids are heading back to school in the next week or two, I know there's a good chance that you're counting backwards from the first day and thinking about what you need to do to prepare. There's an instinct to get it all organized - bedtimes, screens, wake-ups, chores, etc. 

I'm actually here to talk you out of that way of thinking today. I want to make the case that even if you put in all that effort, it won't actually work and it will make the end of the summer stressful instead of enjoyable. 

Rushing for the Routine

There are a couple of really common reasons that I see moms want to dive into routines and schedules a bit too soon when a new school year comes around.

In some cases, moms really think that it's best for the kids to prepare in this way.

But more often than that, it's about YOU. You are desperate for routine. You are eager to get them back into school. You're eager to get those bedtimes back online. You're eager to get those morning routines going. 

Before you jump back in, I want you to get curious about where that desire for routine is coming from.

1. Do you feel like your family truly needs a reset? Are you depleted, and getting back into a rhythm will help you feel calmer and more regulated?
2. Or do you feel like you're "supposed to" be getting back into school routines before school starts? You feel pressure to do it because you think that's what "good" moms do?

If it's the first one - getting back to routine will serve you, and it's a way of taking care of yourself - great. This is totally understandable. You've just had 2-3 months of loose schedules (or none at all), a lot of togetherness, more decisions and logistics, and less structure. You might just be completely worn out.

Bringing those routines back gives you a sense of control, predictability, and normalcy. We can feel the need for this kind of reset at any time of year when things have gotten a bit squirrely.

Your kid will probably fight you on it, but set your boundaries and do what you need to do. 

However, if it's the second one, we're looking at pressure dressed up as responsibility. This is where I want to let you off the hook.  

Why Starting School Routines Early Isn't Worth It

The idea behind bringing routines back early is that if we give our kids a week before school starts, then they'll have more success once that first day comes. 

Now don't get me wrong, I love routines. But the week before school starts is not the time to force it.

Your kids are still very much in summer mode, and I know from my own experience and from coaching hundreds of moms that if you try to force routines on them too early, it ends up backfiring and causing more stress than it's worth.

Think of it like this: The school schedule creates the routine. You can't manufacture the rhythm or the tiredness that school brings. School itself does most of the work for you. It creates a time when your kid needs to get out the door in the morning. It wears them out so that they're tired at bedtime. So when you try to use school-year routines without the school part, it just doesn't work. 

Once school starts, your kid has to be up at a certain time. They're active, they're mentally engaged, they're around other kids. They're using up energy in a way that the late mornings and lazy afternoons of summer don't require. The structure naturally pulls your kid back into routine.

It's not something you need to preload a week in advance. It's built into the first few days back to school.

The truth is, whether you pre-routine your kids or not, the first few days of school might be rough. You will probably end up with a very tired and dysregulated kid. They're going to be overwhelmed because the demands of school themselves are overwhelming. Starting your routines early does not change that.

If your kid is still in summer mode and you try to rush them into school time, you're going to end up creating friction for a routine that's going to happen naturally anyway. And the last week of summer will end up feeling tense and frustrating for all of you (not the goal). 

Now, I'm not saying that you shouldn't do anything to help with the transition. If your kid has been sleeping until 10:00 every morning, a 7am wake up call will seem pretty rough that first day. You might want to wake them up a little earlier for a day or two before school starts to ease them in. Plus, waking up earlier will help them feel more tired in the evening and shift that bedtime a little earlier, too.

But you don't have to force this for a whole week. Just give them a little bit of a head start.

Savor Summer Without the Stress

I love to talk about chasing a feeling, and here's what I want you to focus on: The last week of summer can feel fun, easy, and delightful. 

Right up until the first bell rings, it's still summer, and I think this week deserves to be treated that way. I want you to feel free to enjoy your family and savor the last bits of summer.

And remember... School doesn't erase everything that you're leaving behind when summer ends. You still get to spend time together, enjoy each other, and have fun together. 

That's the spirit I want for this last week. Don't spend it bracing for school. Spend it actually being in summer - the pool, the lake, the river, the creeks, the late nights, the lack of schedule, the extra ice cream at night - because that's going to end soon enough on its own without your help. 

My challenge for you this week is to pick one summer thing - a late night, a pool day, an unstructured afternoon, a movie marathon, ice cream by the, by the lake or whatever you do - and savor that last thing on purpose. Be there and make it meaningful. 

You'll Learn:

• Why you might be craving routine at this point in the summer
• What back-to-school and jet lag have in common
• Why forcing school routines early isn't worth it
• How to savor the last days of summer
• My favorite back-to-school tradition (do we have a picture of this I can use in the post?)